


The Good Place

by Daretodream66



Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: F/M, M/M, Sad with a Happy Ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-03
Updated: 2019-06-03
Packaged: 2020-04-06 23:20:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,629
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19072750
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Daretodream66/pseuds/Daretodream66
Summary: Clint is sent on a mission by 'Fury' and ends up with a house guest.





	The Good Place

**Author's Note:**

> I think Clint and Laura Barton are the best and the idea that they can help 2 hundred year old men get the shit together seemed like the story to tell. Also, I think Laura would be this protective and take on Nick Fury to protect what is hers. I also like the idea that the team knows what's up when Steve can't figure it out.  
> Oh, and I wrote this about a year and a half ago, so everything after Age of Ultron just didn't happen.

Laura had been watching her husband for the better part of the day going over an encrypted file that Fury had sent. She knew what it meant, trying to push down the worry, she went back into the kitchen to finish dinner.  It was the look of intense concentration that let her know he’d be leaving in a few days.  She knew that he’d said he was retired, but she also knew that he was feeling cooped up and anxious. 

The kids were with Auntie Nat and the good bottle of wine that Natalia had brought was sitting on the counter. She’d need to thank that woman again for a night off with her distracted husband.  When arms wrapped around her from behind, she leaned into the strong arms.  “Finish going over the mission?”

When he didn’t respond, she signed to let him know that he needed to turn his hearing aids up. He reached up, then his arm was back around her.  “Sorry about that.”

“It helps you focus.” She went back to tossing the salad.  “What’s the mission?”

“We don’t have to talk about this now.” He kissed the side of her neck, knowing that it always caused her to lose her train of thought.

“Yes, we do. I want to enjoy tonight and I won’t if I’m wondering the whole time.”  She turns in his arms and kissed him lightly.  “Talk to me.”

He furrowed his brow and crossed his arms over his chest. “It’s not what you might think.”  She quirked an eyebrow.  “It’s a mission, yes, but not one with fighting.”  Now both eyebrows were in her hairline.  “About a year ago, Steve found out that someone from his past was still alive.”  He spends time telling her all the details he knows from Fury.

“So, let me see if I understand.” Clint nods.  “Steve’s best friend from childhood, that went off the side of a train in 1944, is actually alive and was brainwashed by Hydra into an assassin that’s been in and out of cryofreeze for like 70 years?”

“Yeah, that about covers it.” Then he flushes.  “Or…sort of covers it.”

“What’s the rest?” She points at the table and he sits.  She fixes their plates, pours the wine and sits next to him.  Whatever it is, it has him more than anxious.

“When we were fighting Ultron, something was off with him.” He’s waving his arms and signing at the same time.  She takes his hands and pulls them to her face, kissing them.  Taking a deep breath, he tries to make sense of it.  “He was professional, really professional, overly professional.”

She smiles softly. “Like he knew he had a job to do, but his heart wasn’t in it.”

“Yeah, like that.” He tries to eat, but pushes the food around his plate.  She waits, knowing that he’s processing.  “Like I am when I’m worried about you.”

She starts to take a bite, then stops. “Are you saying what I think you’re saying?”

“Nat seems to think that there might be more there than Cap is willing to admit.” He reaches over and brushing her hair behind her ear.

“And what do you think?” She kisses his palm.

“He didn’t talk about him a lot, but when he did…” He huffs a quiet chuckle.  “It’s like his whole demenour changed.  I can’t explain it.”

Laura giggles and offers a bite from her plate to her husband. He smiles at her the same way he did the night they met.  “So Captain America was in love with his best friend.”

“It looks that way.” He takes her hand, leaning on the table.  “Fury wants me to do some recon and see if I can track down Sargent Barnes.  Maybe bring him home to Steve.”

She runs her fingers through his hair. Clint closes his eyes to enjoy the feeling.  “So you’re actually playing cupid on this mission.”

He leans over and kisses her. “Can’t help wanting everyone I care about to have what I have.”

“You are going to get so lucky tonight.” Dinner forgotten on the table, he chases her up the stairs.

 

Fury looked at Nat accusingly. “Romanoff, what the hell were you thinking?”

She smirks because it’s her default setting. “In the moment I was thinking what would Fury do and I went with it.”

Pointing at her, he tries to be menicing. “Do not try to butter me up.”

She snorts into her glass of wine. “I wouldn’t dream of it.”  Realizing that she needs to stop antagonizing him, she folds her arms on the table.  “Look, Steve’s out there looking for him with the help of Sam.  He’s not going to stop, so I thought maybe we could help him out.”

“So you sent an encrypted file to Barton, dragging him back into all of this after he made it very clear that he was out for good?” She starts to respond, but he cuts her off.  “And you did it using my authorization code.  How did you even get my authorization code?”

“It’s better if you don’t know.” He huffs and sits back his chair.

“Barton’s been brainwashed, fought his own people, nearly shot and crushed by a city. I think he deserves to retire and be left alone.” 

Nat gives him a genuine smile. “I think he’s your favorite, Papa Nick.”

“Don’t call me that. We’ve talked about this.”  He relaxes his shoulders, letting the tension bleed away.  “Contrary to what you think, I’m on Cap’s side.”

She cocks an eyebrow. “Really because from where I’m sitting it seems like you see him as only an asset to be used.”  She uses the word asset on purpose, knowing he’ll get the implication.

“I’m not Hydra Romanoff, I see my people.” He thinks that maybe his motivations could be questioned.  “I get where you’re coming from though.”

“I’m surprised you admit that.”

“I’m not all that bad. I’m not proud of how I’ve handled some things.”  He looks off into the street, doing a sweep.

“You mean how you manipulated him into fighting Loki and then manipulated him into taking over and ordering the destruction of SHIELD?”

“I thought it was the best thing for him.” He doesn’t look at her.  “I thought getting him back out there was what he needed.”

She slams her hand on the table. “What he needed was someone to understand he was a man out of time.  What he needed was someone to help him understand this new world he never asked to be a part of.  What he needed was a therapist for the intense PTSD he had and still has.”

“I know that now, so let me help with this…mission.” She grins like the widow that ate its mate.

 

Clint goes it alone for the first week. He was on and off the grid for the next three weeks. He’s been off the grid for the last three days because he’s pretty sure he’s found the guy.  He’s having a real hard time believing that the guy he’s following was a hydra assassin.  He’s watched him haggle good naturedly with a produce vendor at the farmer’s market, he’s watched him help a little old lady across the street and into her apartment with her groceries, honest to god, little old lady and he’s watched him play soccer with a group of kids. 

When he’s out, Clint has let himself into his apartment, careful to leave no trace that he’s been there. What he found was a journal, the guys been writing everything down: everything he does, everything he remembers and everything about Steve.  There’s even a picture of Steve in the journal.

He spends his days watching and waiting. He’s not sure what he’s waiting for, but feels like he’ll know when the time comes.  He hasn’t contacted Fury or Nat.  He’s not even sure which one to contact now that he knows it was all Nat’s doing putting this thing together.  But according to her, Fury is now on board.

The second time he goes to the apartment, he notices the trip wires before going in. The guys good, but Clint’s good too.  He wouldn’t say he’s better, just good.  So, instead of going in, he retraces his steps and leaves.  That’s when he notices the dust.  Just outside the kitchen door, there’s a light dusting of flour.  Okay, the guys good.  A lesser spy wouldn’t have seen it.  Using a rag from his pocket, he waves it and kicks up the flour, wiping away the impressions of his shoes. 

Problem is, when he stands, there’s someone behind him. Yeah, the guy is really good.  “Who are you and what do you want?”

Clint had turned his aids off, knowing that he could feel the vibrations of anyone coming up behind him, but this guy moves like a ghost. Raising his hands, he points at his ears.  Barnes graps his shoulder and turns him around.  “I can turn the hearing aids up, read your lips, or if you know sign language we can talk that way.”

He doesn’t expect Barnes to start signing. ‘Who do you work for?’

Clint shrugs and indicates his hands. Barnes nods and Clint signs back.  ‘I don’t really work for anyone, I’m retired.’

‘You’re not really answering my question.’

Clint closes his eyes for a second and breathes. ‘I’m here because of Steve.’

Barnes reaches behind Clint for the door. Clint flinches for a split second.  ‘If I wanted to harm you, I could have done that by now.  I don’t do that anymore.’ He disengages the trip wire and leads Clint in.  He points at Clint’s ears and he turns up the aids. “What dumb shit did the punk do now?”

“Mind if we sit?” Bucky indicates the small dining table, it wabbles a little, but it serves Bucky’s purposes.  “Damn, I’m tired.  You are a pain in the ass to find.”

Bucky’s face doesn’t change, he looks expectantly at Clint. “Who are you?”

“Right to the point, I can appreciate that.” He starts to extend his hand, but figures Bucky won’t shake, so he puts it back on the table.  “I’m Clint Barton, a friend of Cap’s.”

“Why are you here?” He doesn’t ask how Clint found him because the only way that happened is if he did something wrong, made his trail easy to follow.

“I’m here because…” He leans back and sighs.  “I’m here because Cap ain’t so good.”

It’s the first sign that Bucky is human. His eye flicker for just a second, then it’s gone.  “You’re the one that was in my apartment last week.”

Clint nods. “I just needed to see if I was in the right place.”  It’s going to keep going on like this if Clint doesn’t lay his cards on the table.  “Listen man, Steve’s been looking for you for about a year and even with Falcon’s help, he hasn’t gotten as far as I have.” 

“And why is that?” Bucky is sizing him up.

“Because I’m a spy, not a soldier. This kind of thing, it’s what I do.” 

“And I’m an assassin that trained spies, I shouldn’t have come up on your radar.” Bucky is making a mental list of everything he needs to grab when he runs again.

“Before you start planning your escape, can you just listen for a minute.” Barton has seen that look before, it’s the same look that Natalia used to get when he first brought her in.  Bucky nods.  “Cap hasn’t been good since he woke up and that’s been a few years.  He lives in the past because he can’t let go of something from before.”

“And that would be?”

“You.” He gets up because he has trouble sitting for too long.  It annoys Laura all the time.  “You gotta come in man, Cap’s going to get himself killed if you don’t.”

“And why would I do that?” Bucky’s heart is twisting out of his chest at the idea that something could happen to Steve.

“Because I think you love him as much as he loves you.”

 

Clint uses a secure phone to call Laura. She picks up on the second ring sounding out of breath.  “Hey honey.”

Clint’s heart melts at the sound of her voice. “Hi sweetheart.  I was wondering if you would mind if we had a house guest for a little while.”

“You found him.” She sounds excited.

“Did you doubt me?” She giggles on the other end.  “What do you think?”

“I think it would be a good idea. Gives him a place to adjust.”  Clint couldn’t love this woman any more than he does, but in that moment, he thinks he might just have fallen in love with her all over again.

“Have I mentioned how much I love you lately?”

“You know, you haven’t. I may need to hear it.”  Again she giggles and Clint can hear Nate in the background giggling at something.

“I love you more today than I did yesterday.”

“I love you like there’s no tomorrow.”

He hangs up and turns to Bucky who is packing what little he has. “You’re a spy and you have a wife?”

“Being a spy is my job, it isn’t my life.” Clint wonders what hell this man’s life has been if he doesn’t know that distinction.

They arrive at the farm the following day. When exiting the quinjet, Laura is on the porch holding Nate and the other two come barreling out of the house and throwing themselves into Clint’s arms.  “How are you guys?”

Lila doesn’t let go and Clint has to stand holding her. He’s got to remind her that she’s a little too big for that, but can’t seem to do it. Cooper looks at the man coming down the ramp and his eyes get wide.  “Dad, who’s this?”

Bucky is puzzled by the kids. “You have kids too?”

Clint grins and leads the way to the house. He sits Lila down and takes Nate from Laura, kissing her.  “Hi, I missed you.”  She snuggles into his side.  Turning to Bucky he starts introductions.  “Mr. Barnes, this is my wife Laura, my son Cooper, daughter Lila and this little guy is Nathaniel.”  He tickles the babies belly, who giggles.

Laura comes forward extending her hand. “Mr. Barnes, it’s nice to meet you.”

There’s hesitation on Bucky’s part, but he reaches out and shakes her hand. “Thank you ma’am for the place to stay.”

“Oh, he has manners. I want everyone hanging out with him as much as possible, maybe it will rub off.”  Bucky quirks a smile, the first that Clint has seen.  This was a good idea.

They head into the house with the kids asking questions. Bucky watches with fascination.  A spy, with a family and a farm.  It’s the craziest thing he’s ever seen.

 

He’s been with the Barton’s for four weeks and in that time no one has come to visit. There was a conversation that Bucky overheard after the first week.  Laura was talking to someone and with his serum enhanced hearing, he could tell the other person was getting pushy.  The voice was male and sounded older.  But when Laura had raised her voice and told him,  “I swear to god Nick if you come up here I will shoot you myself.  You will give this man a chance to find himself again or trust me, they will not find your body.”  That was the end of the conversation and Bucky could understand why Clint loved his wife so much.  She may not be part of that world, but she wasn’t afraid to stand up to anyone that threatened her family and somehow Bucky had become part of her family.

He spent his days working with Clint, working on equipment, keeping the fields in good shape and herding the most ridiculous goats. His experience with farm animals was limited.  The cows kind of took care of themselves, and were fed with the horses and chickens every morning and evening, but the damn goats were insane.

They bounced off of everything, rammed his legs for no good reason and wanted Bucky to pet them. By the forth week, he finally had to ask.  “Clint, why are your goats to weird?”

Clint barked out a laugh. “Because my daughter thinks they are pets and now they act like it.”

He reaches down to pet one of the baby goats. “I can’t believe you’re a spy.”

Laura walks into the barn just as he’s saying it. “He’s a better spy than he is a mechanic.”

Clint blushes. “When we got this farm, I figured I would learn as I went.  I didn’t know that this tractor was going to be the bane of my existence.”

“Want me to take a look?”

Laura looks at Bucky with a mock surprise. “So you’ve been holding out on us?  If you can fix this thing, you get an extra serving of pie after dinner.”

Little bits of Bucky Barnes had been coming out over the weeks. “Well, if I get pie out of it doll, I’ll fix anything you want.”

The giggle that escapes from Laura is only equaled by the laugh that comes out of Clint. “And there he is.  There’s the flirt I’ve read about.”

Bucky just blushes, picking up the wrench and not knowing where the flirting had even come from. “I was not that big of a flirt.”  All of them laugh.

 

Nick does come to the farm at the end of the second month, he brings Natalia with him. Bucky is immediately mistrustful of both of them, but he can almost let go of that when he sees how the kids are with Natalia.  In jeans and a tee shirt she spends the days running around the yard with the older ones and carrying the baby to show him all of the animals, but Fury sends Bucky into a panic attack.

According to Clint, he’s a good guy, just really focused on the job, but to Bucky he’s just like those that used to give him orders. When the panic attack hits, he makes his way to the barn.  That’s where Natalia and Nate find him, sitting on the floor, back to the wall, with Petunia (the goat) sitting with her head in his lap.  “You know,”  Bucky jumps at the voice, “When Clint first pulled me out, I had panic attacks too.”

She sits down in the dirt next to him and Nate reaches over to pet the goat. “I know you.”

“You shot me.”

“Sorry about that.” He watches Nate’s tiny hands, petting the goat and making cooing noises at it.

“It’s not like you had a choice.” She looks at him long and hard.  “That’s the part you have to remember.  We didn’t have a choice if we wanted to survive.”

Nate reaches out for Bucky and he takes him, sitting him in his lap so he can reach the goat better. “I don’t like him.”

Natalia sighs. “I didn’t either at first.  I thought he was just like the handlers in the Red Room.”  Bucky nods.  “After awhile, a long while, I realized there was a difference.  It’s hard to see sometimes, but it’s there.”

“I don’t want to talk to him.” He leans his head back against the barn wall. 

Nate reaches up, cupping his face. “Bubee.”

Bucky folds him into a hug. “That’s right little man, Bucky.”

Natalia gets up, reaching down a hand. “Come on Bubee, lets go be brave for a little while longer.”  He grins up at her and takes the offered hand.

The house isn’t quiet and they find Cooper and Lila sitting on the porch. Cooper, who Bucky has discovered is just as sarcastic as his mother, shakes his head.  “You don’t want to go in there.”

Bucky sits next to him. “Why’s that Coop?”

“Cause when mom kills him, you don’t want to be a witness at her trial.” Bucky busts out laughing.  This is what family feels like and he suddenly misses his Stevie.

From inside the house, he hears Fury, “He has a certain skill set that would be a valuable tool.” Clint snorts. “You got something to say, Hawkeye?”

And that seems to be the last straw for Laura.  Bucky can see Natalia stiffen like she knows what’s coming.  “Listen you arrogant bastard, that skill set was tortured into him and asking him to use it again means you don’t see him any better than they did.  He isn’t your asset to use, he’s a human being that deserve to have a life that was taken away from him and I swear to god, if you think I was joking about them not finding your body, then you better not go to sleep tonight!”

Natalia looks at Bucky. “You are definitely part of the family now.”  The back door slams open and Laura comes storming out.

“Bucky, take a walk with me.” He hands Nate over to Cooper and offers his arm to Laura.  “Such a gentleman.”  They’ve been walking for awhile when she finally speaks.  “You understand that you don’t have to do anything they ask of you.  You are your own person and can make choices for yourself.”

He stops. It’s the first time he’s had someone tell him that and it hits home.  He hugs her tightly and knows now why he liked her immediately, she’s Becca.  She’s got the same fire that his sister had and he chokes on a sob.  She carefully lowers them to the ground and lets him cry while she holds him.  “Thank you.”

She pulls him closer. “Ssssshhhh, everything is okay now.  I’ve got you.”  She runs her fingers through his hair.  “You get to choose what you want now.”

He sniffles and then quietly says, “I want Steve.”

 

Fury leaves the farm with nothing he wanted. Natalia stays at the farm because she’s having a great time.  Clint makes a call to Sam because he knows that Steve is with him.  Laura starts baking and shows Bucky how to make cookies because he wants to learn everything he can.  Something in the house relaxes like it hadn’t before. 

Three days later Steve arrives with Sam, who has done everything in his power not to tell Steve what this is all about. Natalia meets them on the porch with Nate, who takes to Sam instantly.  Steve seems stiff and a little irritated.  “I don’t understand what was so important that we had to come out here.  That last lead was a good lead.”

Natalia smirks. “No it wasn’t.  According to Clint you were in France somewhere.  He’s not in France Steve.”

He mumbles something and Natalia shoos them into the house. It smells divine and even Steve lets the tension drain from his shoulders.  “What is Laura making, it smells great.”

Laura comes from upstairs, hugging Steve and getting an introduction to Sam. She grins at Steve. “Laura isn’t making anything by the way, but maybe you should go in the kitchen and meet the cook.”

Sam pushes him toward the kitchen and when he rounds the corner, he stops dead. “Bucky?”

Bucky stands up from taking the cookies out of the oven and grins. “Hiya Stevie.”

He puts the cookies on the counter and Steve throws himself into his arms. Then he backs away almost as quickly.  “Sorry, sorry, I wasn’t thinkin.”

Bucky pulls him back in, chuckling. “I didn’t mind.  Felt good.”  They hold on to each other for several more minutes.  “You doin okay there Steve?” He feels Steve shake his head and realizes that he’s crying.   “Oh, come on punk, it’s okay.”

Steve leans back, looking Bucky in the eye. “No, it wasn’t okay.  Nothing was okay.”  Bucky pulls him in again knowing that Steve means everything from waking up after the ice to five minutes ago.

“Well, I’m here now and it’s going to be okay.” He pulls away again and looks at the cookies.  “I need to get these off the tray and you need to eat one.”  He pulls a cookie from the tray and holds it up to Steve.  He leans in and takes a bite and his eyes get wide.

“Those taste like Ma’s.” Bucky grins and pulls him in for another hug.

“Good, that’s what I was going for.” Steve pulls back, taking Bucky’s hand and taking another bite. 

The rest of the people in the house watch the two of them during dinner. If there had been any question as to their feelings for one another, there weren’t any by the time dinner was over.  The looks between the two might as well have had hearts floating above their heads.  “So, how long are you two going to stay?  We’re going to have to double up on some rooms.”

Laura isn’t trying to be stealthy, but Steve and Bucky don’t seem to be listening. Nat chimes in.  “Sam can bunk with me.  You don’t mind bunking with Steve do you?”  She’s looking at Bucky, who doesn’t answer.  “James?”  Still nothing.  “Bucky!”

He jumps and looks at her. “What?”

Nat giggles. “Sam’s going to bunk with me tonight.  You don’t mind sharing with Steve do you?”

Bucky turns five shades of red, but shakes his head. “No, no that’s good.”  He looks at Steve.  “We’ve roomed together before.”  He softly elbows Steve.  “Just like old time, huh Stevie?”

Steve flushes. “Yeah, yeah, just like old times.”

 

Steve sits on the side of the bed, bent over looking down at his hands hanging between his thighs when Bucky comes out of the bathroom. It’s obvious that this is the room that Bucky has been staying in the whole time, with his clothes hanging over a chair in the corner and a stack of books on  the bedside table.  Bucky pauses just outside the en suite bath.  The look on Steve’s face speaks of exhaustion, fear and a sense of lost and lonely.

“How long, Buck?” Bucky knows what he’s asking and wants to lie because the truth will hurt his friend more.

But he needs to explain. “A couple of months.”

Steve’s head flies up and Bucky had been right, there’s betrayal there. Instead of yelling, like he would have when they were younger, he just hangs his head again.  “Why?”

Kneeling on the floor in front of him, Bucky fights the urge to touch. “I wasn’t me, Steve.  I’m still not the me that you want back.  Here I could just…I don’t know…find myself again.”

Steve huffs a sigh. “And if I were here, you’d feel the need to pretend to be someone you aren’t.”  If Bucky could contradict him, he would.  “I get it.  I’ve been so hell bent on finding you that I forgot you aren’t him anymore.”  Bucky looks up into his face.  He sounds so resigned.  “I’d like to know who you are now.  If you let me.”

Bucky nods and Steve gives him a tight smile. Steve gets up and heads into the bathroom for a shower.  Sharing a room with James is going to be hard, but never let it be said that Steve didn’t face challenges head on.  The shower is hot and sooths his muscles, but not his mind.  Coming back into the bedroom, he finds Bucky already in bed, reading.  “You got any extra blankets?  And I’ll need one of those pillows too.”

Bucky’s confused for a minute, then realizes that Steve plans to sleep on the floor. “You can just share the bed with me.  It’s not like we haven’t done it before.”

Steve chuckles. “Yeah, but we both know the only reason you did that was to keep me from freezing to death.  Literally.  The floors fine Buck, I’ve slept on worse.”  Steve turns to pull a shirt on with his pajama pants.

When he turns back around to face Bucky, there’s a look of pain.  “That wasn’t the only reason I slept in the bed with you, Steve.”

Steve’s brow furrows and he looks at his one time friend confused. He gently sits down on the side of the bed.  “Buck?”

Bucky closes the book and puts it back on the side table. “You really didn’t know?”

Steve starts to reach out because Bucky seems hurt, but pulls his hand back. He has to keep reminding himself that they aren’t close like they used to be.  The gentle touches shared by two boys that grew up together might as well be a work of fiction as things are now.  This isn’t Bucky Barnes, best friend of Steve Rogers, this is a man whose whole life was taken from him.  He just wears Bucky’s face.  “I don’t understand.”

Bucky heaves a sigh and gives a smile that doesn’t reach his eyes. “It’s nothing.”  He scoots a little further over.  “Either you sleep up here with me or you sleep up here and I go take the couch downstairs.”

“You’re just as stubborn as you used to be.” He climbs into bed, but makes sure not to get too close.

All hesitation about touching flies out the window several hours later when Steve begins crying. At first it’s a quiet whisper of a thing, waking Bucky, but barely there, then it becomes full on sobbing and Bucky can’t lay in the dark and ignore that.  Steve’s facing away from him on his side.  Leaning over Steve’s form, he runs fingers through his hair like he did when Steve was small and sick.  “Sssshhhh, it’s okay.  I’m here.”  He leans a bit closer, resting his chin on Steve’s right shoulder.  “You’re not alone anymore.”

At first Bucky is sure that he’s awake, but with Steve’s back to him, it’s unclear. It’s when the last words come out of his mouth, and Steve groans, that he knows this is a nightmare.  He shakes Steve, just a small jostle and the man freezes.  Reaching up he wipes away the tears.  “Sorry.”

“Don’t apologize, happens to me all the time.” He lays back down on his back.  “Roll over.”  There’s a hesitation on Steve’s part, but he finally rolls over facing Bucky on his side.  “Come here, punk.”  Grabbing Steve by the shirt, he pulls him in so that his head is resting on Bucky’s chest.  He’s stiff and tense.  “Relax, will ya?”  Steve’s whole body goes pliant, almost snuggling into Bucky’s side.  It makes the ex-assassin smile and he pulls him closer.  “When I first went on the run, I had nightmares.  Wake up screaming nightmares.”  Steve cuddles closer like he wants to give Bucky comfort.  Bucky smiles.  “I couldn’t figure out what was real and what Hydra put in my head.  After awhile, they started getting better, like what you have now.  Still happens, but since I’ve been here, not as much.”

“Maybe what I need is a vacation.” Bucky’s arm tightens around him a little more.

“Maybe what you need is to walk away. Not for good, just til we can get you in a better place.”

Steve freezes for a second, then relaxes again. “We?”

Bucky pulls his head back and Steve lifts so they can see each other. “Of course ‘we’.  Did you think I was leaving you again after all of this?”

Tears gather in Steve’s eyes again, but there’s a determination there too. “I am so sorry for this.”  Before Bucky can ask what he means, Steve’s lips are on his.  It’s soft, tentative and full of more love than Bucky thinks he could ever deserve.  When Steve pulls away, he tries to pull completely away and off the bed, but Bucky doesn’t let him go. 

“No you don’t. You don’t get to do that and just walk away.”  Steve turns and starts to apologize again, but Bucky’s pulling him back in.  This kiss lingers longer and when Bucky’s tongue begs for entrance, Steve is unwilling and unable to refuse.  When they come up for air, Steve is on his back and Bucky hovers over him.  “I’ve waiting two lifetimes for that.  I can’t believe you never knew.”

Steve looks shocked. “That’s what you meant before bed.”

“Yeah, that’s what I meant.” He leans in and kisses Steve’s forehead.

Steve reaches up and brushes Bucky’s hair behind his ear, letting his fingers linger. “I’ve loved you my whole life, since I can remember.  Ma knew by the time I was 13 and told me to just be careful.”

Bucky kisses across Steve’s cheek, down his neck and back up to his lips. “When I was 12, Becca told me the same thing.  Don’t know how a 10 year old knew, but she did.”  He kisses Steve again, not holding back. 

“If you don’t wanna, I get it, but it sure would be nice to hear.”

It takes Bucky a minute to understand. “I love you.  I loved you then, I loved you through it and I love you now.”

 

The following morning Laura and Nat are in the kitchen when Bucky comes down. He goes to the coffee pot and pours some into his regular cup, adding some of the flavored creamer that Laura likes so much.  The front door swings open and Steve comes in followed by Sam.  They got up before the sun and went for their run.

Steve comes into the kitchen, kissing Bucky chastely and taking the cup for a drink. “Holy hell babe, what is in that?”

Bucky smirks, kissing Steve again. “Something to ensure you keep your mits off my coffee.”

Laura giggles, Nat smirks and Sam, well Sam voices what they are all thinking. “It’s about goddamn time!”


End file.
